Desperaux

I'm not sure about you, but I find that NYE (New Years Eve) tends to be an even more desperate holiday than Valentines Day. See, many people can argue that Valentines day was created by Hallmark in order to sell more cards throughout the year, so many people tend to disregard it or use it as a day to celebrate their friendships rather than love interests. NYE on the other hand is something we can't ignore or manipulate - "Sorry, what? It's January 2009? Noooo .. It's still December 1995."

While there's a ton of pressure on "males" (boys, men, gentlemen, dbags .. yes pretty much all of them) to perform on Valentine's Day, it is the tradition that comes with NYE that puts pressure on EVERYONE. The New Year kiss ..

When I think back over my New Year celebrations, the common goal for most of my friends (high school, college, the after life ...) was to find someone for midnight (I'm not saying that I never had that same goal .. trust me, I did). But that goal wasn't satisfied with just a peck ("a kiss"). The underlying meaning of that goal was to have a make-out session .. hook-up .. the rush of being with someone while ringing in the new year. You're considered lucky if you're attached. There are no worries for you - you're guaranteed that thrill.

Since I wasn't attached to anyone this NYE, I started to find myself saying things like "I won't have a new years kiss" or "I'm going to have to hire someone to be my date for the evening". I also worried about what he would be doing. Was he going to have a NYE kiss? Would it be someone he knew or a complete stranger? Would he do more than just something at midnight? I stressed myself out and started to make it a competition in my head. Must . Have . New . Years . Kiss ... otherwise I miss out on "tradition" and lose.

But the more I thought about it, the more I came to realize that if there's one thing at all I can be proud to say is that 'I'm not desperate'. If it doesn't happen, well, then it doesn't happen. There is no need for me to 1. make it a competition 2. make myself think that in some way I'm rising to the occasion by throwing myself at someone that I most likely don't have any interest in and 3. what if it was just absolutely terrible? Sure, being single has its benefits (making mistakes, no "responsibility", trying on someone new for a change, etc.), but being single doesn't mean making yourself do something that won't make you proud, happy or feel good because your desperation took over. Plus, no offense, I wasn't about to kiss any of those boys in the bar anyways.

So, as we counted down to midnight (with me standing on a chair), I looked around at everyone - some are attached, some have found new mates, others are pumping their fists and yelling with me and very few are alone. At that moment, internally, I hugged myself because I knew I didn't need a kiss from some boy/dude/guy/man on NYE to validate whether or not my new year was going to be robust, wonderful and fun. Sure, I missed him and he was probably making out with "something" and it made my heart twinge a little bit, but I wasn't about to cry at the fact that I was 'alone' because in reality I wasn't. Here I was on a chair, with my friends that I have been more than lucky to meet and I knew that I could man-up and tell myself it was going to be a good one no matter what. I stepped down from the chair and pecked a good gf, who probably lived up to be the best new years kiss ever .. no regrets & no drama.

It's about being with the people you care about & drinking lots of champagne :)