Wednesday, April 29, 2009

One for the Babysitting Resume

I have a lot of adventures in babysitting. My experiences probably have been the best birth control that I could have ever asked for and this one that I'm about to tell can go right up to the top of my list of most embarassing moments in my life.

I loved babysitting for this particular family. They had a little boy and a little girl. I normally sat for them on Friday or Saturday nights -- the kids would be in bed by 7:30 and the parents would be home by 10:30 (enough time for me to head out afterwards). Not a bad way to make a few bucks on the weekend.

Well, on this one particular night the kids hit the hay super early. So my boyfriend at the time was kind enough to bring me over some dinner (he used to grill some pretty awesome steaks). He kept calling me because he was having trouble finding the address, so I quietly slipped out the front door and stood on the porch so he'd have an easier time finding it. He finally pulled up and I was elated because my stomach was yelling at me. I turned to open the door to get back in the house and it wouldn't budge. I had conveniently locked myself out. No keys. No phone. No numbers.

I started freaking out. Both of the kids were inside asleep and alone. How terrible am I?! And true to his nature, my boyfriend wasn't much help. I rang the doorbell frantically, pressed the call button, had him call the house phone .. they were passed out and there was no chance of them waking up. There was no hidden key, no unlocked window, it was absolutely robber proof. My next instinct was the neighbors.

I sprinted across the lawn and pounded on the door. As soon as she opened the door I burst into tears and she must have thought I was lost or something terrible had happened. She kindly ushered me into her home and calmed me down with a glass of water. We tried googling the venue or finding the parents phone numbers with absolutely no luck. Her next suggestion was calling the police department .. I hesitated. But in the end it was the only way.

So, I walked back over to the porch where my boyfriend stood, playing on his phone. I told him the fire department was coming and it made little difference to him (even though I was hyperventilating at this point). Soon enough not one cop car, but three and two fire trucks pulled up with lights and sirens on in front of the house .. all of that because I locked myself out in Highland Park .. shows how much they have going on. And what would the parents think if they came home early ..

They tried all the tactics that I did -- searching for an extra key, calling the house phone, looking for an open window .. they even climbed up onto the back balcony which is attached to the boys room and knocked on his window. Nope, there was no way that he was waking up. Thank goodness he didn't, the fireman would have scared him to death.

In the meantime my boyfriend was actually trying to impress the fire department with his manly abilities (ha!) and was trying to stick his arm through the front mailbox and unlock the thumblock on the doorknob. But unfortunately, his muscles were "too big" and he couldn't quite reach.

"Hey LHB, I can almost reach it .. but you know my arms are large sooo yours are a lot smaller, I bet you can make it!"

"Oh ya ya, that's a great idea, let's have the girl try."

Before I knew it, I was on my knees and they were shoving my arm through the cold, brass mailbox.

"A little further, a little further."

I actually got really into it because I was so close. I pushed my arm in a little further and further. My circulation stopped, but it was the only way I was going to get back into the house without breaking a window (and potentially paying for it).


And with my arm in the mailbox I pushed the door open. I was so ecstatic that I forgot I was still on my knees and my arm was still in the door. Finally everyone's excitement subsided and I focused on retrieving my arm from the door.

No good. I was stuck. Bad.

And then they all laughed. Me, ME, ME!! I was the one that got the door unlocked and YOU, ALL OF YOU laugh at me?? They even contemplated leaving me there until the parents came home. That would have been a really fun explanation.

My boyfriend so kindly went and grabbed a stick of butter as they unscrewed the mailbox from the door, which even after doing so, was still stuck to my arm. They then buttered up my arm and made an effort on sliding off the brass contraption. The lower half of my arm was blue.

Finally it popped off and the entire fire department left. I iced my arm, which had a bruise ring around my upper bicep. And on top of it, my boyfriend left me .. sitting there in the hallway because he had to meet up with some friends. Eventually the parents came home and were not at all concerned that I had ice on my arm .. wouldn't you be curious as to why the babysitter has an injury?? I shamefully told them what happened .. What a terrible babysitter I was and that I was so so sorry.

They laughed, offered me a glass of wine and the largest tip I've ever received.

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